I Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike

You are:
a. a man
b. possess a special "je ne sais quoi"
c. are open to openness
d. love Halloween
e. all of the above

If you pick option e. from the choices above, this is for you. You're welcome. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Simply 3 Cool Sites

1. Visit this one when you're NOT at work and NOT surrounded by children

2. This one when you have just returned from a vacation or want a confirmation of how badly you need to go on vacation

3. This one when you don't know whether to quit your job, have a cold one or take a chill pill.

One of these days, someone will write a similar blog post about this site. Until then, there is always site #3 when you need some smart advice. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Did you say dessert?!

I have died and gone to heaven. … Well, dessert heaven, at least. But, all in order, please.

So, here’s your completely irrelevant and oh-so-amusing dose of weekly gossip. This past Friday, at a jazzy birthday party, we met a really cool couple. He was smart and attentive; she was brilliant and resourceful. They were crazy about each other, and it showed. Among the thirty or so odd people at the party, they were the perfect pair to sit across from – fun, entertaining and full of useful information.

What kind, you ask. Well, for instance, I learned that my sciatica is not stress-induced, as I suspected – it was caused by a pinched nerve that resulted from the wonderful childbearing experience – something about something pressing on my uterus, or something… Medical details are too boring to remember – who cares about the particulars, anyway, when all that matters is – the pain will haunt me for the rest of my life!?





On a less depressing note, the other piece of the aforementioned useful information I learned was that Sweet Scoops Yogurt is a much preferred choice to my regular standby – Skinny Cow chocolate-drizzled frozen yogurt bars. Come on, when was the last time you saw a skinny cow?! That’s deceptive marketing at its best, people! So, as I was saying – the yogurt. Sigh. I cannot find the proper words to describe its airiness, creaminess, ice-creaminess, sweetness – yes, it’s sweet, but not overwhelmingly so – just the right amount, and none of that nasty fake-sugar taste. You know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout, right?

The best part of this prolonged and annoying story is the fact that Scoops was on sale at The East Side Marketplace this week. It’s almost like winning the lottery, but not quite. Of course, I didn’t go with the girl’s suggested flavor – I mean, who in her right mind wants mint in their desert?! But I did find a lovely Madagascar Vanilla. Yes, I am one of those people who get offended at the bad rep vanilla gets. To me, the expression “too vanilla” is a compliment, got it?
So now, I just have to hope that FIOS will accidentally add Showtime to our TV package, so that I could check out another one of the gal’s recommendations – The Tudors. After tasting Scoops, I trust that woman forever. How could I not – she’s a lawyer! ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

How to spice things up

Absolutely amazing photos of Russian life. You won't be able to take your eyes off the screen. I promise.

More HERE.

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Ira answers Harper’s Bazaar reader questions

“I get depressed thinking I can’t pull off the bondage trend that’s all over the catwalk. What is the best way to wear it without looking like an S&M fanatic?”


Oh, wow! Kudos for finding such an original reason to be depressed. Most people are wallowing in self-pity because they can’t pay their bills, or because they can no longer afford to eat. You, on the other hand, are a true thinker, one who’s above the pettiness and the mundane routine of everyday life. You live in the realm of fantasy – brava! May we suggest purchasing a leash, wrapping it around your neck and attaching it to a car’s bumper? Just make sure that the car is about to take off; otherwise, you’ll just look foolish. Let us know how that goes for you, please. That is, if we don’t read about you in the morning paper first.

“I have OCD about wearing black. How can I brighten up my life?”

We have OCD about washing our hands, but your version of the disease is so much more interesting. So, let us get it straight. You get up in the morning, take off your black negligee, shower, and dry yourself using your black towel. Then, you put on your black stockings, black delicates and a black dress. Beautiful and ready, you show up at work and try to look sympathetic, so that the grieving family you’re greeting won’t realize that you’re truly digging the Goth look and aren’t just sporting the latest undertaker fashions. Oh, you’re not an undertaker? Our apologies – not as interesting as we thought. Well, in that case, just stop by your local Kmart and pick up some Jaclyn Smith pieces. You’ll love ‘em, we promise!

“The recession is keeping me up at night. My husband tells me I have to cut back on spending, but I’m anxious about spending on a budget. Can I still look chic while buying cheap?”

Funny you should mention recession. I have been hearing that word everywhere nowadays. If your husband is telling you to cut back, then by all means, cut back listening to him and go on a shopping spree. After all, the word recession is so similar to the word recess – they are basically the same thing, n’est pas? Yes, take a recess – you deserve it. If the husband can no longer swing Saks Fifth Avenue, don’t turn your nose up to such worthy alternatives as Neiman Marcus or Barney’s New York. Either one will do. But, it’s really all about preference. If walking around the store is a bother, consider your options. For instance, Nordstrom offers a wonderful service – you just meet with a lovely lady, who would otherwise be unemployed, tell her your clothing faux pas and thrills, and she chooses a brand new wardrobe for you. See? You feel great and do a great deed for humanity! The little sales girl makes a mint on commission; the designer sells his collection, and the store profits. Recession shmesession.



You don’t believe me that these are real questions? Think I made them up? I wish. Check out these Bazaar reader inquiries and more here. Oh, just don’t be disappointed by Karl Lagerfield’s answers. He’s not nearly as witty as I am. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Parenting 101

OK, this is just too good not to share. Now, why didn't someone send this link to me when I had my baby?!

Are you a young mom? An inexperienced dad? No worries. Here's a manual that will teach you about every phase of your little one's life. Just follow the directions -- you'll be all set!

Considering it's cold season right now, this point will definitely come in handy.

Now, my son is almost six -- does this mean I can finally start choosing the "No" option? Please say yes! There is nothing better than a snot-smeared finger when it's your child's nasal mucous. Better than reading at bedtime for bonding purposes. No?

Need more guidance? No problemo!

But, in all seriousness, can someone clue me in -- was this manual designed as a joke or is this for real? Please, dear God in whom I don't believe, tell me it isn't so!

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“Сiльпо” Ads

Man, the theme of this blog is kinda dying since I don't really check out fashion or bargain sites anymore. But, not all is lost. We're gonna work it.

This Ukranian brand is offering the most bang for your buck -- read their ads, and no need to read the comics on a Sunday morning. So, save your 10 minutes browsing the paper, and just spend a couple of grand on a trip to Kiev. Right.

Apologies ahead of time to those who don't speak Russian, but this is worth a lesson or two. Maybe it's because I work in marketing, or because I haven't visited the former Soviet Union for the past twenty years, or because I overanalyzed literature for six years ... But, I'm leaning toward -- it's because I have a brain? I can honestly say that I have never in my life seen an advertisement campaign sadder than this brand's:

Rough translation:

(Rhyme)

"I'm a shrimp, and if you, my friend, don't mind, I'd like to be in your mouth."

The translation kind of kills it because the Russian phrase could also mean, "I'd like it in the mouth".

Oh, the innocent Ukranians. How interesting it must be to visit the country as a foreigner. I really should go back.

More gems here. Translate the rest yourselves. Lazy asses.

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Looking for a frugal vacation?

Look no further!

Mother Russia offers the most bang for the buck. Here's a taste:

More here.

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Moda

Christian Dior's foray into Moscow in 1959. They say that a picture is worth 1000 words. If that's true, these photos are speechless. More images from the source here.

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Would you like some brains on the side?

Just came back from our local Rite Aid, or should I say Wrong Aid? Here is what I observed. Kellogg's cereal bars were advertised as being 2 for $8. Right above that ad, was the real price. The retail is $3.49.

Now, I have never wanted to have a fancy camera phone, but regretted not owning one today. How can someone be so daft, man!? Manager, I'm talking about you!

Since I could not take a photo of that deceptive advertising, I thought you should enjoy another one I quite like. Now, go have some artery-clogging tater tots, lazy ass!

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Inner peace

This post is a bit out of context. Just wanted to wish you Happy New Year, people! That's right, I'm not all about money, money, money. What is this, an ABBA concert? (Everyone younger than 30, go ask your parents about this reference.)

So, let's pause with the money focus, if only for a day or so. Let's think about something that's more valuable, for my money, at least. (had to squeeze it in, man -- just can't help myself!) Let's think about inner peace. Inner peace to you all, homies!

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Goodbye and Good Luck

I just finished reading three “food books”. I won’t name-drop, but I will tell you that instead of inspiring me to cook up a storm or visit restaurants, they left my mouth quite dry. After learning the insider secrets of chefs and restaurant reviewers, I no longer want to eat out. Ever again. Well, unless you’re paying. Wanna go out?


Anywho. Now, I’m onto something much meatier. Reading Grace Paley. Gracie, you da best, woman! May you rest in peace, as my grandma says. You don’t believe me, people? Here is a little taste of just how great this writer is. Enjoy it – it’s worth every bite (or every penny, to be relevant to the blog’s theme. Like how I did that there? Takes talent.)



Where did a Jewish boy grow up so big? “Just outside Kiev,” he told me.
How? “My mama nursed me till I was six. I was the only boy in the village to have such health.”
“My goodness, Vlashkin, six years old! She must have had shredded wheat there, not breasts, poor woman.”
“My mother was beautiful,” he said. “She had eyes like stars.” ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

My cure for recession

So, I haven't posted for a while now. You've noticed, right? Anybody out there reading this thing? Helooooooooo?!

I realize that a smart blogger posts on a daily basis, but I just couldn't bring myself to rhapsodize about some fashion item while everyone around me was getting laid off. ... Does this mean I'm not smart?

Anywho. So, why the heck am I posting now? Has there been a sudden surge in job prospects in the US? Have all the Christmas (sorry, Christmas, Hanuka and Kwanzaa) shoppers boosted the economy so much that we can finally climb out of this newly declared (or should I say admitted?) recession? No, but something did happen.

Ira went to Marshalls. No, that's not the event I'm talking about. What kind of a blog do you think this is?! Drum roll, please. I've discovered Big Slice. That's right, not Little Slice, not Tiny Slice -- Grandma Hoerner's Big Slice Apple Sauce with Strawberries. It was just sitting there, on a shelf at Marshalls, competing with fancy-pants French jams and stout Irish jellies, calling out my name. Now, the 2.4 of you who know me, ya'll understand the excitement, considering my weakness for anything sweet with apples. But, this is too much! This pièce de résistance has all of Ira's loves rolled into one Big Slice. It's fat free, has no added sugar and is made with "real whole fruit". To make the long story short -- it's perfect!

The afternoon I brought it home, I ate half a jar. No, I don't mean I was watching Seinfeld reruns while munching on some glass. I was experimenting. First, I put Big Slice on top of some yogurt. Then, I ate it with some waffles. Then, I discovered some leftover Trader Joe's (hugs, kisses) French toast in the freezer and gave that pairing a try. Who needs dinner when you can have breakfast all day?

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Hello, what's the number for Manolo, please?

If you are at least half as tech-savvy as I am, you already know about the topic of this post. (Certain people, no names mentioned -- you know who you are) knew and didn't share! We won't dwell on the negative, though. What matters is -- I know now and you will too.



So, let's say you're driving to your cousin's house in Brooklyn. You live in RI and have no clue how to get there. The GPS system has just died because some stupid bolt wasn't screwed on properly and fell out. You can't find it on the floor of your car, and it would just be so much easier to call and find out the directions from the cousin than to start fixing the GPS system on the highway.

Oh, wait! You have her old phone number programmed into your cell. Darn it! Now, it becomes more complicated. Do you pay the three bucks to get her new number or do you pull over and fix the GPS system? Hmm. Well, information might not even have her new number yet, so it really would be a waste of those three bucks, after all. What to do?!




GOOG-411 to the rescue! Google's new service is free -- why else would I be raving about it? Forget 411 -- dial 1-800-466-4411. So, technically, it's more like, more bang for NO buck, people -- the best possible scenario! Don't ever tell me I never gave you something for nothing! ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Can't Live without John Derian

So, I'm reading my new Elle Decor (No, I didn't pay for the subscription -- it was free after filling out some survey -- What did you think?!) when I notice the magazine's usual feature, 12 Things S/he Can't Live Without.

It's obviously a hyperbole -- I mean, no one will die from a lack of Ralph Lauren slacks. But, it's an interesting concept -- you can tell so much about a person by the little list on that one page in a magazine. In the case of John Derian, the designer in question, the list was quite intriguing. It made me want to know more about him... (The man loves his calligraphy pen -- what else can you ask for?) So, I did.

Imagine my surprise when the first Google result happened to be his Target line! Hello! Derian has a Target line. How cool is that? And, it's just as romantic as his questionnaire answers.

The designs of the trays, snow globes and ornaments evoke a Victorian aesthetic. Tranquil and understated, they often juxtapose script and painted images. But, you might get something completely other from them.

Take a look at this Large Butterfly Design Tray , for example. Here is a sample train of thought: writing, butterflies, Nabokov, Lolita, lollipops, dark chocolate, bye.

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Je Suis Un Autre

So, holla to Stylenotes.com for this deal. OK, right after this momentary segway. Back when I was instilling my bountiful knowledge of literature onto freshmen, I was told that holla is a cool term that signifies "hello" or "good-bye" or something along the lines of, "I dig it, man".

Promptly after teaching me the meaning of the term, my freshman class forbade me to use it. After I tried it out, they kind of looked at me, the way one looks at a dead fly, and said, "Umm. Ms. SoandSo, you should just stick to using words, like "hello" and "great job".

So, "holla" has been dormant for a long time. Six years, to be exact. I thought it was time for the word to come out of its cave. Especilaly considering the coolness (or, should I say nastiness?) of the site I'm about to direct you to.

We are now back to our scheduled programming. See, I told you that the flashback would be short. And, as a reward for your patience, you get a Lover. Yes, you read that right. This gorgeous white dress is made by a brand named Lover.

You know what's even better? It's called Rimbaud Dress in white. So, if you need another reason to buy it, besides the fact that it's more than 70% off (don't expect me to figure out the exact figure, -- I was an English major), how about this one -- follow the brand's lead and be a rebel -- who says you can't wear white after Labor Day?

Oh, and according to StyleNotes, you get free shipping and 25% off -- that's on top of the huge sale -- with the coupon code "notcotlovesrevolve".

All we have to say is -- Thisbloglovesrimbaud. Plus, everything we've said above.

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Bootie call

Second post about shoes in two days. I know, this is getting ridiculous, but I can't help myself! All I have to say is -- gorgeous leather booties. These babies come in both, brown (sorry, camel) and black (yes, i know, black is the absense of color, but bear with me, les artistes célèbres). Anyhow, what I'm trying to tell you is -- GO BUY THESE NOW. Because, if you don't, they'll be gone. Why? Well, they're cheap (sorry, inexpensive).

That word always brings up an embarrassing memory of that one time, in college, when a used-books store owner yelled at me, but that's a story for another time. Oh, well -- I might as well tell it to you since I've already basically told it. He overheard my incredulous exclamation and came over to chide me, pointing out the difference between cheap books and inexpensive ones. So, from then on, mes amis, I knew better. And you should too!

Why are you still reading this drivel? Go buy the shoes, hear me? No, of course you don't! You're too busy remembering your own mortifying moments.

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Excuse me, do you have the time?

OK, stop whining, I'm back! This post is dedicated to Adam the Coffee Fiend (I'm convinced this guy will have withdrawal symptoms if he stops drinking coffee) who inspired me to return to this blog, two and a half years since the last post. Hey, it's better late than never!


So, how did Adam motivate me to post again? You don't care, but I'll tell you anyway. Knowing that I'm a huge shoe fanatic, he thought he would share this really cool shoe site with me. He has underestimated my obsession. Of course, I already knew about it!

So, apparently, the secret is out. I was not telling anyone know about it, but it looks like I am not the only one taking advantage of really cool deals on this site. Yes, other people have discovered it too -- that is why it's so important to check it on a daily basis -- to the peril of your checking account. So, without further ado, here is the big revelation -- it's a treasure that's not hidden well enough, and it's called 6pm.com.


It's awesome in every aspect of awesomeness (and, no -- they're not paying me to say that!) You will find yourself adding it to your favorites (that is, if you can pull yourself away from browsing the discounted designer beauties). But, don't say I didn't warn you -- that playground is addictive. Because they frequently update it with new shipments, it's wise to check back often. You don't want to miss bargains like this, do you? Allrighty, then. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Alligator

I wanted to let you know that this blog will not be updated as often anymore. I will probably still post, but only when I find an incredible deal.



So, keep saving. I am not saying good-bye; simply, "see you later". ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Pick up some summer essentials

Spiegel has just reduced its clearance merchandise by an additional 25%. Check out the site for some incredible deals. Here's a sample:

Ruched-Front Maillot

Sale $21.99 (Orig. $49.00)

Pink Floral Skirt

Sale $17.99 (Orig. $44.00)

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What you gonna do with all that ...

Those who love to wear jeans will love Andy's new site, Denimology. He wants you to know that jeans are his "personal addiction", so he is qualified to offer various tips to you. Hope you find them useful. Check out our English friend's passion and have some fun.

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You've got mail!

Red Envelope is a classy store. Everything it carries looks and feels expensive. That's why I love their sales. Right now, RE is having a summer sale, so if you need to stock up on gifts, this is your chance. I am especially fond of this piece of jewelry:

Isabella Necklace
Regular $95 Sale $29.99
Grab it for less than a third of its original price. Use REDFSS to get free shipping. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Open this Door

Those who were asking for suggestions where to find a cosmetic container for your purse: right here! Receive a FREE 8-Piece Elizabeth Arden Gift Set, a $48.00 value, with any $22.50 purchase.

If you needed to stock up on some perfume, check out Red Door. It costs $27 and qualifies for a bonus.

Don't forget to use code 57503 to receive 20% off any one item.

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Basic Bags

These Tommy Hilfiger bags are simple yet cute. They won't hold much more than wallet, mints and lipstick, but most of you probably don't carry diapers anyway. So, if the purse fits, get one at Boscov's. You can choose from a variety of colors--each rendition is only $10. That's much cheaper than the cost of most wallets. Go wild and get a bunch!

Tommy Hilfiger Boxed Nylon Hobo W/Key FOB - Black
Original Price: $34.00 Now $9.99

Notice--no visible logo! That's quite unusual for a Tommy Hilfiger accessory. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. Shall we?

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The Ex

This must be one of the most disturbing objects I have ever seen in a home goods department. Judge for yourselves:

'The Ex' 5-piece SS Knife Set with Unique Holder

I can't figure out whether the idea was conceived by a certain NY taxi driver, by a femme fatale with a dislike of bunnies, or by a member of a prominent Italian family residing in New Jersey (its ancestors were likely into opera). Your guess is as good as mine. No designer names are necessary here; let's let the art speak for itself. If you hear what it is saying, you can find it on Overstock. The piece happens to be its "deal of the day". Grab it for 53 bucks. Go through this link to get 10% off any purchase. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

A cool find or a dry idea?

This is an interesting product. In the words of Avon's marketing team, it's "revolutionary"! I am not sure if I feel comfortable describing a nail polish this way, but it is truly different from anything that I have ever seen before. The concept is quite advanced. Here is how the company describes it: "[N]ail color that goes on dry. No streaks. No waiting. Strips of real nail enamel, combined with base & top coat that go on dry."

It's one of those things that make you go, "hmmm". You are either thinking, "why didn't I come up with that?" Or, you are annoyed at yet another useless innovation: "that's unnecessary!" Not having tried the product, I am not sure where I stand. I am confused about the fit, though. Aren't everyone's fingernails a different width? If so, how can the strips fit on everybody's nails if they only come in one size? Maybe I am misunderstanding something. If you have used the polish and want to clue us in, please do.

Until then, here is a code for free shipping if you want to try this polish or anything else on Avon's website. It's good until the 22nd of this month: FSWA6.

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Comment time!

A couple of people have emailed me that they cannot leave comments on my blog. I just changed the settings. I no longer have to moderate your comment before everyone can see it. So, by all means, let me know what you think, want to see more of, dislike, etc. Costructive criticism is welcome!
One request: you may share your blog but, please, do not advertize your store. Thanks in advance. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

So many purses, so little time...

So, you've got quite a collection of purses, but you stick with only one of them. Why? You simply don't have the time to transfer all of your "stuff" from one bag to another. In the morning, when you are running out of your house, the last thing you want to do is coordinate purses to outfits. You are just hoping to be not more than five minutes late, right?

If you recognize this scenario, keep reading. That was me a couple of months ago. I had all these cute bags sitting on the shelf and not being used. I thought, what was the point of buying them if I am not going to show them off? Therefore, I devised a method to switch purses without wasting any time.

I found a small cosmetic container (the kind they give you in department stores when the makeup you buy comes with a bonus) and put all of my essentials in it. It now contains:

• mints, gum
• tiny lotion, brush-ups, floss
• excedrin
• tide to go (saved me yesterday when I spilled some Masaman curry on my white skirt)
• lipstick, lipliner, gloss
• tissues
• powder
• hair elastic
• pen
• tiny cute mirror

So, the only two things I have to switch from one purse to another are my wallet and the cosmetic container. It helps that all of my bags are kind of large (I use them instead of diaper bags; those tend to be somewhat ugly). Let me know if you find this tip useful.

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Even more shoes!

To rival the Victoria's Secret sale, Amazon is holding its own shoe blowout. And the deals are even better. I have spotted a couple of irresistible contenders for purchase:

N.Y.L.A. Women's Suzy Sandal

List Price: $74.95 Price: $20.94 You Save: $54.01 (72%)

Absolutely gorgeous shoe. Would be perfect for my salsa class. Dance the night away in this beauty!

RANDY-01 WEDGE

Price: $33.99 Sale: $22.99 on selected colors & sizes

I have a shoe very similar to this one; mine is from Target. It goes great with skinny jeans.

SANDY-01 HEEL

Price: $32.99 Sale: $21.99 on selected colors & sizes

If you need a red shoe, this one is quite feminine. That's important when you are wearing such a bold color. You don't want to end up looking like a streetwalker.

Get them while they last. Hurry, only limited sizes are available. ♦DiggIt! ♦Add to del.icio.us ♦Add to Technorati Faves

Shh! It's a secret.

This post is dedicated to my favorite sister-in-law, Patrycja. She let me know that there is more to Victoria's Secret than its lingerie. I never cared for the quality of the store's undergarments; I find them too flimsy. That's why I was surprised to hear that VS carries cute shoes at reasonable prices. And since the store is having its shoe sale right now, why not give it a try? I admit that these prices are higher than what I would normally pay, but some brands (such as the one below) are worth the money. Take a look for yourselves:

Carlos™ by Carlos Santana
Strappy platform espadrille sandal
Orig. $89. Sale $71

Use code SP61465 to fet FREE SHIPPING!

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