Thursday, August 20, 2009

A rant -- plain and simple

So, I just got a call from a telemarketer who was peddling Florida vacations. After I told him I was not interested in his pitch and would like him to remove my name and phone number from their lists, he tried a new approach on me. He asked, "So, you don't like vacations?"

Instead of explaining to the chap that my name is on the Do Not Call registry and that I do, in fact, enjoy vacations very much -- more than I enjoy presumptuous gentlemen callers who won't take no for an answer, I decided that it would be easier just to say, "That's right. I don't enjoy vacations". He had no reply to that and thanked me for my time.

I took my cue from a man I know who once told a telemarketer selling curtains that he has no windows. Hey, if you are going to make assumptions about me, I'm going to treat you accordingly. So, next time you call my house, keep in mind that the fact that I have a mailbox does not mean that I want to receive your magazine. And just because I enjoy vanilla ice cream and plain kefir, I don't have simple tastes -- maybe these foods just remind me of the simpler times of my childhood, the era before berry flavors and phone commercials. Or, maybe, anything else just tastes too sugary to me. I guess you'll never know.

Catch you later. I'm going to go drink some sugarless tea now.

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