Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Gilda Radner

I first found out about Gilda Radner when I saw her smiling face on the cover of her autobiography, ‘It’s Always Something’. I used to frequent yard sales in hopes of finding some interesting fiction to encourage my English studies. We had just arrived from Belorus. Coming from a culture where people constantly, and often unsuccessfully, attempt to accumulate “stuff”, we were fascinated and bewildered by the ingenious concept of trying to get rid of “stuff”.

While I was reading the autobiography, I felt as though I was having an intimate conversation with someone close to me. Gilda’s writing fascinated and drew me in with the raw honesty of a genuine soul. It is precisely that fearless openness and willingness to share the most private moments that makes it so difficult to fathom why Gilda put up so many facades during her life.

To the adoring public, she was a confident comedienne who was unafraid to talk dirty to the animals or poke fun at Barbara Walters, a previously untouchable woman – at least by the entertainment industry. Though she took her time getting used to the idea that she was now a comedic target, ultimately, Walters not only came to terms with it, but also gave the daring funny woman a big hug.

While the media loves to refer to Radner as “daring”, in reality, she was quite insecure. Her doubts manifested in constant concern about her looks. Continuously starving herself, she yearned to appear flawless to her fans who would have loved her just as much had she been heavier. Perhaps, Radner focused on the external because she had no control over public taste or critics’ opinions.

I wonder if she ever realized that it wasn’t her Winter Garden Theatre’s billboard – the one showcasing her trim figure – that made her an icon. It was her genius for comedy that people remember long after she is gone. There was nothing “tiny” about the ‘Tiny Kingdom’ skit – Radner’s talent is immense. After all, who else could have been able to make the audience laugh uproariously at a boring substitute teacher reading a children’s book? And, there was nothing “foreign” in Radner’s portrayal of the Romanian gymnast – the humor is universal.

Maybe people relate to her portrayals so much because they reveal the human side to even the most unattractive characters. Every one of Radner’s gestures, looks and phrases is in tune with her positive philosophy. Radner led her personal life according to that same notion – take it with a grain of humor. She remained strong despite challenges, such as her parents’ refusal to accept her plumpness, and her prolonged battle with ovarian cancer. Whatever the situation, Radner faced it with a sunny disposition.

It’s that tendency to see the glass as half full that attracted me to Radner when I began reading her book. That year, I was faced with multiple tests that included adapting to a new environment, learning a new language, and entering a new phase in my life – teenage years. Now, as I reread some pages twenty years later, I’m sad that the late comedienne can no longer be funny. In fact, watching Radner give a commencement speech makes me wish I were one of the graduates in the audience. The YouTube clip reveals that she is surrounded by lifeless drones who are too proper to laugh at her jokes, and too stiff to recognize that they are in the presence of greatness.



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