Wednesday, May 27, 2009

This is a contest. This is only a contest.


Attention! I'm holding a contest. If you are dying to become my favorite person, make me this. If you completely don't care about me, then this will do. But I will hold it against you for the rest of your life. I mean it. Now, get to work!
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

One-line reviews of my latest 15 netflix rentals

Scoop: Never realized how funny Woody Allen is. Almost peed in my pants. I said almost.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: How DOES he get smaller?! That’s what I want to know.
My Best Friend’s Wedding: Julia rocks. He should have chosen her. Idiot.
Confessions of a Shopaholic: Note to self: get thee a green scarf. An expensive one.
Cassandra’s Dream: Karma’s a bitch. Ewan McGregor’s nice to look at.
Last Chance Harvey: Who cares that Emma is taller than Dustin? All’s fair in love and war.
The Edge of Heaven: Flashbacks of Unbearable Lightness of Being. Sadly, no Daniel & not nearly as good.
A Good Woman: Wilde shuddered in his grave. Helen Hunt as a seductress?! Scarlett as a prude?!
Jellyfish: Five stars, no hesitations, no explanations. See it. (Hope I haven’t oversold it)
I’ve Loved You So Long: An interesting puzzle. You’ll be sad when you solve it.
Synecdoche, New York: Simply THE Worst Movie I’ve EVER Seen (tried to see). And l like indies.
Elegy: Penelope is a goddess. I want to be her. Not in this movie, though.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona: See it despite the lack of commas in the title. They become one. Gag.
Peter’s Friends: With friends like these… Watch it – if only to see Laurie out of his HOUSE. Good stuff.

Doubt: Hoffman shows Meryl how it’s done. (Meryl, I still love you!) Creepy, slow, but, see it anyway.DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Another easy meal

Sweet potatoes



Cut them up, sprinkle with some extra virgin, honey, cumin and a bit of salt, cover with foil, stick into oven for 25 minutes (350 degrees)

Chicken
Slice into cutlets, brown on both sides, sprinkle with salt, pepper, spices, saute in vegetable broth until done.

Healthy yummy dessert


Cut up strawberries, put into a cup, add Australian creamy vanilla yogurt. Enjoy. ♦DiggIt!Add to del.icio.usAdd to Technorati Faves

Friday, May 22, 2009

Well, she was an american girl...

So, it has finally happened. You may breathe a sigh of relief. American Girl is about to release the first Jewish doll. And, if that’s not a good enough reason to add more sugar to your wine, just wait – there’s more. Rebecca (yes, somewhat unoriginal, but we Jews will take whatever they give us) is a Russian emigrant! Say what? No, I’m not lying. It’s like Hanukah in May.
Oh, and she is your everyday next-door girl – even her hair didn’t want to side with either light or dark, so it went with brown locks that are highlighted. Who knows, maybe the creators modeled her after me – while I was going through my match-the-kids’-hair period. We, emigrants are so finicky – never happy with what God gave us – always striving for improvement – highlighting, leaving our motherlands…


But, seriously – highlights in 1914? (the dolls come equipped with a setting and a back story à la posh restaurants’ menu items), but “the company hopes the doll will appeal to everyone. If a blond Christian girl in North Dakota enjoys pretending she is living in a tenement on the Lower East Side in 1914, helping her Bubbie make latkes for Hanukkah, American Girl will be happy to sell her a toy menorah.” I sense a bit of a tongue-in-cheek attitude here, New York Times!

But, the real question is – will Rebecca be allowed to date a shegetz?! The suspense is killing me!
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Gilda Radner

I first found out about Gilda Radner when I saw her smiling face on the cover of her autobiography, ‘It’s Always Something’. I used to frequent yard sales in hopes of finding some interesting fiction to encourage my English studies. We had just arrived from Belorus. Coming from a culture where people constantly, and often unsuccessfully, attempt to accumulate “stuff”, we were fascinated and bewildered by the ingenious concept of trying to get rid of “stuff”.

While I was reading the autobiography, I felt as though I was having an intimate conversation with someone close to me. Gilda’s writing fascinated and drew me in with the raw honesty of a genuine soul. It is precisely that fearless openness and willingness to share the most private moments that makes it so difficult to fathom why Gilda put up so many facades during her life.

To the adoring public, she was a confident comedienne who was unafraid to talk dirty to the animals or poke fun at Barbara Walters, a previously untouchable woman – at least by the entertainment industry. Though she took her time getting used to the idea that she was now a comedic target, ultimately, Walters not only came to terms with it, but also gave the daring funny woman a big hug.

While the media loves to refer to Radner as “daring”, in reality, she was quite insecure. Her doubts manifested in constant concern about her looks. Continuously starving herself, she yearned to appear flawless to her fans who would have loved her just as much had she been heavier. Perhaps, Radner focused on the external because she had no control over public taste or critics’ opinions.

I wonder if she ever realized that it wasn’t her Winter Garden Theatre’s billboard – the one showcasing her trim figure – that made her an icon. It was her genius for comedy that people remember long after she is gone. There was nothing “tiny” about the ‘Tiny Kingdom’ skit – Radner’s talent is immense. After all, who else could have been able to make the audience laugh uproariously at a boring substitute teacher reading a children’s book? And, there was nothing “foreign” in Radner’s portrayal of the Romanian gymnast – the humor is universal.

Maybe people relate to her portrayals so much because they reveal the human side to even the most unattractive characters. Every one of Radner’s gestures, looks and phrases is in tune with her positive philosophy. Radner led her personal life according to that same notion – take it with a grain of humor. She remained strong despite challenges, such as her parents’ refusal to accept her plumpness, and her prolonged battle with ovarian cancer. Whatever the situation, Radner faced it with a sunny disposition.

It’s that tendency to see the glass as half full that attracted me to Radner when I began reading her book. That year, I was faced with multiple tests that included adapting to a new environment, learning a new language, and entering a new phase in my life – teenage years. Now, as I reread some pages twenty years later, I’m sad that the late comedienne can no longer be funny. In fact, watching Radner give a commencement speech makes me wish I were one of the graduates in the audience. The YouTube clip reveals that she is surrounded by lifeless drones who are too proper to laugh at her jokes, and too stiff to recognize that they are in the presence of greatness.



Watch it HERE

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Sunday, May 10, 2009

Some memories of Montreal (or why it’s the most bang for my buck)


bright high-tops, skintight jeans on toothpick guys, quaint picturesque streets, adjoined multicolored houses, curlicued staircases leading to the second floor, full-fat soft-serve ice cream, walking, outdoors jazz ensemble in a garden restaurant, crepes with strawberries, gelato, bonjour, soccer and volleyball in the park, pigeons courting each other near the fountain, little kids speaking French, charming Middle Eastern restaurant owner, warm pressed sandwiches for breakfast, mischievous schoolboys on the playground, fog, first espresso shot, heavenly peach croissants, mannequin hairdos, designer store windows, Brasseries, restaurant peanuts, 13 percent tax, conversation with gardener, john and yoko’s faces on buses, tranquility in the midst of chaos, circus performers practicing in a gazebo, concert rehearsal in an empty church, soothing voice of the planetarium narrator, botanical gardens all to ourselves, browsing supermarkets, kinder chocolate, japanese gum, can i have a sip of your drink, brother?; I’m just short a dollar, mr.; help me pay for operation, man; no-exit underground parking lot, cozy balconies, business lunches on lawns, adults playing kids’ ball games in the park, cheese curds at cash registers, elaborate parking meters, two korean tourists on a bench, woman in a red trench coat hugging and kissing a man twice her age in a black trench coat, polish mazurka, birch juice, Indian guru and his knife, weird tattoo book, eagle diving to catch a fish, squirrel hiding a snack for a rainy day, apple beer, contribution to john and yoko’s exhibit – nailed to the board, art museum library, aching feet.
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Sunday, May 03, 2009

An easy three-course meal

Appetizer:


Potato Salad à la Ira:



- potatoes
- mushrooms (fried with onions)
- boiled eggs
- peas
- tuna

Entrée:

Pasta

-pasta w/cheese and butter

- leftover chicken

- zucchini (fried with onions)


Dessert:

Crêpes

(I'm not sure, but I think I stole this recipe from Esquire. So what that it's a men's magazine? Do you expect me to read The Ladies' Home Journal or something? ... I read that too -- Shhh!)


- cup of whole milk

- 3 tablespoons water

- 3/4 cup flour

- 2 eggs

- 1 teaspoon salt

- 1 tablespoon melted butter

- love (I came up with spreading the finished product with Nutella. Or, I might have stolen that too. From La Creperie on Thayer Street. Who cares -- it tastes good, non?)


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